A Study In Mortal Sleeping Habits
by Eternal Love Song
Summary: Loki tries to teach Gamora and Nebula about humans. [Pre-Avengers.]


"This is a sleepover," Loki said as she dropped a pile of blankets on the floor.

"A sleep over what?" Gamora asked. She was sitting on the floor in a blue nightgown, looking at Loki with skepticism. Nebula was beside her in a gown of green.

Nebula jumped to her feet. "Is this a trap? Do you have us parading around atop some beast?"

"It's just an expression," Loki said, pushing Nebula back down. Nebula glared up at Loki, but didn't move. "That's what the mortals call it when you stay at another's home."

"Why?" Gamora questioned as she leaned back on her hands. She spread her legs out as she stretched.

"Oh, I don't know!" Loki said as she threw her hands into he air. She paced away from them, walking the small circumference of the living room from one couch to another. "Humans have all sorts of abstract rituals. You are supposed to gorge yourself on food and do systematic hair rituals and, I don't know, recite strange, ineffective, arcane spells.

"I don't have hair," Nebula replied in a flat tone.

"And why would we wish to consume food unnecessarily?" Gamora added.

"And what is the point of magic if it does not work?" Nebula complained.

Loki glared at them both. "I am trying to educate you on the ways on mortals!" Loki picked up a pillow and tossed it into Nebula's face. "If you are just going to complain, then I won't bother." The room flashed with light and the illusion disappeared. The pillows and blankets vanished, the vibrant colors in the room returned to their natural dim state, the pillow that had hit Nebula revealed itself to be a dingy beat up thing, and the illusion that covered the three of them vanished. Loki was back to being male, Gamora and Nebula were back in their armor.

"How is this going to help us conquer them?" Gamora asked.

"It won't, okay!" Loki yelled. He turned his back to them as he dropped down to the ground. folding his arms around his knees and glaring at the wall. "I am a useless creature filled with useless knowledge and that is uselessly taking up space. Do what you will with your time. I care nothing for it."

Nebula glared at her sister, but Gamora just folded her arms, refusing to apologize or feel bad about asking a perfectly valid question. "Well, of course you are useless now," Gamora began. "You have yet to have a chance to prove yourself."

"You're not helping," Nebula hissed.

Gamora ignored her and went on. "Once you get to go on a mission, you'll be able to earn your worth."

"Get out," Loki said firmly.

"What?" Gamora asked, taken aback by the harsh tone.

Loki moved to his knees to face Gamora, pointing at the door. "I said GET OUT!" Loki screamed.

Gamora's face changed into a harsh expression. "Fine!" She stood up and stormed out. "You could not have taught us anything anyway." She stomped out the room and slammed the door behind her.

Loki deflated slightly after she left the room, shoulders drooping and eyes going to the floor.

Nebula debated with herself for a while before finally reaching out to place a hand on Loki's shoulder. He tensed immediately and she removed her hand quickly. "Unlike Gamora, I would like to actually learn something about our enemies. It'll help with... blending in."

It was a long moment before Loki turned to face her, smiling slightly. The moment of humility and affection lasted only a moment, though. "You would not be able to blend in at all."

"What?" Nebula questioned, immediately irritated with her. "Are you insulting my skill!"

Loki laughed and shook his head. It was a weak laugh, but it was something. "No one is blue on Midgard," Loki told her.

Nebula's irritation dying down quickly at that. "No one?" She asked curiously.

Loki reached out to her, covering her in an illusion. The touch was unnecessary, as Loki had demonstrated earlier, but Nebula didn't notice. She was busy staring at the new paleness that covered her skin. "They are all this color?" She asked.

"No precisely, but there is little variance." An illusion of Gamora covered Loki, then slowly the green skin changed to something darker and brown. "There are shades between the two of us, but nothing more interesting. Mortals are so sheltered that they have no idea what the universe holds. That is the fault of the All-father, of course, keeping them cut off from the universe." Anger flashed in Loki's eyes and he too a breath. He didn't calm, but he did not continue his tirade. Loki was very volatile, but he could control himself when he wanted to. "They are babes in the world at large. I doubt they know other worlds to exist outside of Asgard."

Nebula continued to study her pale skin and Loki's (Gamora's) darker tone. "At least they'll be easy to deal with if they are as ignorant as you say."

"Yes..."

"Something wrong?" Nebula asked.

"No, not at all." Loki stood up, the illusion covering him dissolving. "Let me introduce you to more mortal past times. They have a game called trust falling that I believe you and Gamora would enjoy together."


End file.
